This morning as I was preparing breakfast for my hubby and Iqbal, I suddenly remembered about my job applications to IPTs across Malaysia and wondered what will happen if I was accepted into any of them.
Even though I really hope to become an entrepreneurship lecturer, getting a job means that I will be separated with my hubby for a while. And even though he is a teacher and he can request for transfer, it will surely take some time. That means I need to adjust living without him and I just don’t know how am I gonna cope.
Basically we never live separately since our marriage and whenever he went outstation (when he was working as an engineer before), I felt so miserable. In fact, my kids are very close to their father and the first thing Adi asks in the morning is, “Umi, Abah mana?” (since my hubby goes to work at 7 and Adi wakes up a bit late).
With two kids in school and one coming out in April, the best scenario is for me to do my PhD in UTM and get a scholarship or attach myself to a university that will grant me study leave until I finished my PhD. In the mean time my husband can start applying for transfer and after 3 years we can settle down happily ever after…
Hahaha… I know that would be nice. But then, being a grown up that knows things won’t go as we want and plan, I know that the scenario will turn out to be slightly or very different from what i wish.
So what do I do?
Inspired by this song “Que sera sera… whatever will be will be.. the future’s not us to see.. que sera sera..”, I choose to enjoy and cherish every moment that we’re living together under one roof and be the best wife so that I won’t regret anything in case we live separately later.
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